Times are a changing.

07/17/2017
     Things arent getting better with the mrs and I. . She has been more eratic and unstable emotionally. Tonight especially, its been way hard dealing with her since she had the babies. I understand she has post partum depression coupled with her regular depression but it makes me feel like i have to walk on eggshells nonstop. She starts crying and yells at me and wont stop! It is making me feel like a piece of shit that doesnt matter, she only ever brings up the post partum whenever she gets upset and we begin fighting. It's really starting to bother me because she doesn't listen and see that this is a problem being caused by her and the way she's acting.  Call me to say that I'm not any part of the problem but she starts yelling at denies it vehemently. It's almost like she doesnt understand she is being hurtful. But whatever my feelings don't matter anyway i'm just the father.  For example my daughter yelled at me so i put  her in a timeout. After i brought her out her mother got mad at me for trying to put the towell my daughter used after bath tonight away. She yelled "i'm using that towell!" So i tossed back onto the couch  at which point my daughter yelled at me again which set off another argument, shay blames me for caroline yelling. I said "you yelled not me"  to which she said you are yelling (i wasn't). This is getting really old  and it is affectingly everything. Especially caroline, which upsets me the most.

     I truly don't know how to deal with this anymore. Sometimes i wonder how many other men have to deal with this crap, with or without the postpartum. Words can't describe how hard this has been on me, but once again my feelings don't matter so why mention it.

As far as work goes things have been improving alot, my new boss is awesome! Way better than my old boss. Things started improving pretty much the first day he began managing when the old boss was out of the office. For two awesome weeks everything seemed awesome, my numbers improved and everything seemed to fall into place for me. My statements seemed to flow better and my statement write ups improved alot as well.  It would appear that the amount of stress I was holding within was dissolving. Then the old boss came back for a final week before transferring

    Then came the  department of insurance complaint. There was a claim in which some damages to the vehicle of a non allstate customer had more damages to it and i was unable to verify if they were related to the accident. the shop was no help either. She chose a non-network shop to handle repairs and never told me when she was going to take the vehicle in for repairs so i was unable to provide her with a rental vehicle for her since i had accepted liability for the damages to her vehicle. She decided to go to the dept of insurance over it. Which is bot a good thing tonhabe happen. Its behind me now.